I’m a little grumpy today. Not at people, just at how I’m feeling today. I’ve been super tired this week. The past few days, I haven’t done any of the things I wanted to because of the fatigue. It’s beyond tired, its fatigue and exhaustion. Last night I was feeling pretty bummed about my lack of an ability to live my life anything close to normal. The stuff I did this week that were “too much”, most people wouldn’t even count as doing anything. I know I should be okay with what I can do and not focus so much on what I can’t do, but that’s not doable 100% of the time. I do it about 99% of the time… so today is my 1% of the time I get to focus on all the stuff I can’t do.
This morning when I woke up feeling like someone punched me in the cheek bone on either side of my face, I had an “ah-ha” moment and realized I had a sinus infection. I was a little happy because that was an explanation other than POTS for the fatigue. When the fatigue is caused by POTS, I don’t know when it will go away. When it is something fixable like an infection, I get kind of excited. Unfortunately, this was at like 5AM and I had only slept about 5 hours. I couldn’t fall back asleep. I steamed my sinuses in the shower for 45 minutes (bad for POTS, good for sinuses), did 2 nasal rinses, whipped out the cold meds, and put a heating pad on my face. The heating pad helped a lot. Jake got home from work and tried to convince me to let him drive me to a Prompt Care. I grumbled that I didn’t want to go, I wanted to try and sleep more because my POTS symptoms would all be exacerbated by going to the doctor then pharmacy on so little sleep. He said to wake him up to drive me. I refused. He’s worked the last 3 days, has today off, and then works 3 more days. He works nights 6-6, but with driving it’s more like 445-715. So, I wanted him to have uninterrupted sleep! The doctor is less than 10 minutes away, I could drive myself. Finally, after enough grumbling, he agreed I could drive myself. The doctor agreed I have a sinus infection.
At the pharmacy I picked up my antibiotics as well as the stuff I have to drink before my colonoscopy. Something good happened today — My Mom worked some “Mom magic” and called the gastroenterologist’s office and convinced them to get me in Monday March 4 — 23 days sooner than planned! The only negative to it being earlier is we are celebrating my Mom’s birthday Sunday the 3rd at a restaurant and I won’t be able to eat anything. That’s okay though. It’s worth it to know what is going on so much sooner. I can’t usually eat much at restaurants anyways!
So… I’m a little grumpy at my life because I haven’t accomplished as much I’d like this past week and my face feels like its going to explode. My eyes are doing the thing they do when my POTS is bad. Light hurts them and reading hurts them. It’s pretty annoying. My back hurts so much that when Jake tried to rub it, it actually hurt so badly to have it touched that he had to stop. I almost never am able to nap because my body hates me. I think I wouldn’t be grumpy if I’d had some sleep. The good news is Jake is sleeping most of the day, so I can hopefully be a little more cheerful by the time he wakes up.
Since I’ve probably been a Debbie Downer on your day, I’ll leave you with this, “Today may not be what I asked for, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t enjoy it anyway.” I’m sure I can find something today to enjoy even if I don’t feel good! I’ll keep my eye out for it.
Update: I took a little medicine to help me sleep. I drifted in and out for 3 hours because the pain kept waking me up. STILL, I took a nap which is usually impossible for me so I’m counting it at as the thing I was looking to enjoy. I also will be able to enjoy a book now because my eyes aren’t quite so sore. I am enjoying knowing a week from tomorrow I will get the colonoscopy and endoscopy. I’m feeling much less grumpy and much more able to cope with all the symptoms sent my way today. I’m keeping up hope that maybe by bedtime the sinus pressure around my nose/under my eyes will be gone.