I count myself lucky because, although I am extremely sick and can hardly ever socialize, I have held on to a few friends not related to me or long time family friends. I know that sounds sad, but really, considering my limitations, it is amazing. My best friend since I was about 16, Molly, has stuck around through it all. In high school, we were inseparable and weathered it all together. She was and still is a member of my family — her picture is even on my grandpa’s wall. We didn’t see each other as often while I was in college, but it really didn’t matter. It’s one of those situations where when we see each other, it is like no time has passed. My being sick and moving, and her getting married and moving, resulted in us living in the same town.
She never minds if I cancel last minute. In fact, she doesn’t expect me to finalize plans more than a day in advance. If I do, she still asks the day before and/or if I’m still game. She doesn’t mind if all I do is lay on her couch, but is so happy for me when I can jump in the pool with her and the kids. She has a 2 year old son, so sometimes I take Emma over, and she will take care of Emma while I lay. She constantly offers to help me clean even though I never take her up on it. She wants me to know she is there to help. When I’m at her house, she makes sure I have a glass of water because she knows I need plenty of fluids. She pays attention to how long I’ve been standing and will tactfully suggest sitting down. I’ll never forget the time I got up to leave her house after a long visit and she said, “Oh my GOD! You haven’t drank the whole time you were here! Are you okay? I have Powerade… aren’t sports drinks good for POTS? I also have water… Are you okay?” I just love her. She always wants to know the latest on how I am feeling, but also doesn’t hyper-focus on it. She gets I am more than my illness and most of our conversations are just as I imagine they would be if I weren’t sick. She sends me little positive/thinking of you texts that make me smile, even on my toughest days. She texts me funny texts, venting texts, exciting news texts… all your normal best friend texts. She doesn’t treat me any different than she did before I was sick other than being super conscientious of my lack of energy or ability to be spontaneous. She is as excited as I am at my progress so far. The best part? She did all of this without me ever once having to voice that this is what I needed. This is only the ways she is awesome in being a POTSie’s best friend, she is awesome in so many other ways. She is hilarious and sweet and a natural blonde and one of the most spontaneous people I know and she knows how to do all sorts of random things and she holds all of my secrets.
She’s truly the best and I just wanted to share this because I know it is rare for best friends to stick around in the way that she has. Also, maybe you have a best friend who is sick like me and this will help you know a little of what helps. She is moving away and I’ll miss her so much! It is frustrating not being able to spend a ton of time with her right up until she leaves. Life is like that… We live in the same town again after 5 years while I am sick and can only hang out once a month (if we’re lucky), and then when I finally get treatment it separates us again. Right now, we are planning to get together next week for a play date for
ourselves the kids. I don’t think either of us ever expected that at 24, we’d be getting together, not to go out for drinks, but for play dates.
Here’s some creepy screenshots I took to show what I mean about Molly being thoughtful.
See what I mean? There’s never any pressure or anything except understanding. It really helps me not be nervous about making plans with her because I know it is no big deal if I can’t stay long, suddenly have to leave, or can’t do our plan at all.